RFSU dating manual is the name of a new guide published in Sweden by the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education (Riksförbundet för sexuell upplysning, RFSU) to help boys and young men take the first steps into dating and relationships, in response to growing concerns about involuntary loneliness and men’s mental health. Swedish media reported the initiative on 7 January 2026, as public health data show a sizeable share of men in Sweden say they struggle with loneliness and lack emotional support.
Why RFSU published a dating manual for boys
RFSU says the guide is meant to be practical and non-judgemental: a way to give boys and young men clear tools for initiating contact, recognising interest, and handling rejection without shame. The organisation frames the manual as part of a broader effort to reduce social isolation, which has become a public health concern across Sweden and Europe.
In interviews with Swedish broadcasters, RFSU representatives have described the problem as both social and psychological: loneliness can become a loop where people withdraw, lose confidence, and find it even harder to build connections. The manual is designed to interrupt that cycle by turning vague advice into concrete, everyday steps.
What the RFSU dating manual says before, during and after a date
The guide focuses on three phases: before the date, during the date, and after the date.
Before meeting someone, it encourages readers to think about where they could meet new people (online and offline), how to write a profile that is honest and respectful, and what kind of relationship they are looking for. In the practical sections, the manual also covers basics that can feel awkward to ask about but often come up in real life: personal hygiene, appropriate clothing for the setting, and how to suggest a low-pressure first meeting.
During the date, the emphasis is on conversation and boundaries. The manual recommends listening actively, asking follow-up questions, and paying attention to cues that the other person is comfortable. It also stresses consent and the idea that dating does not have to follow a fixed script: a date can be romantic, sexual, or simply a way to get to know someone.
After the date, the guide addresses what many young men describe as the hardest part: uncertainty and rejection. It normalises being turned down and offers ways to respond without hostility or self-blame. It also points readers to support services if a break-up or repeated rejection affects their mental health.
Loneliness and men’s mental health in Sweden
Sweden has been trying to treat loneliness as more than a private issue. The Public Health Agency of Sweden (Folkhälsomyndigheten) has reported that 30% of boys and men in Sweden say they have problems with loneliness, and that 17% of men say they lack emotional support or someone to share their deepest feelings with.
Those figures matter because loneliness is associated with worse mental health outcomes, including depression and anxiety, and can affect school and work participation. Swedish public agencies have increasingly framed the problem as one of prevention: helping people build and maintain social ties before isolation becomes entrenched.
RFSU’s approach is notable because it connects loneliness to a specific life area—dating—where many boys say they feel uncertain. Rather than presenting loneliness solely as a medical or therapeutic issue, the guide treats it as a skills-and-support question: what do you do, step by step, when you want to meet someone?
A public debate about advice, norms and responsibility
The manual has quickly become part of a broader Swedish conversation about men’s loneliness, gender norms, and what kind of support works.
Supporters argue that the guide addresses a real gap. In Swedish media interviews, several young people have described the manual as helpful precisely because it does not assume readers already know “the basics” of dating. They point to the social pressure on boys to appear confident while receiving limited guidance on communication, empathy, and rejection.
Critics, meanwhile, question whether framing loneliness primarily through dating risks narrowing the issue to romantic success, or placing too much responsibility on individuals rather than on schools, youth organisations, and communities. Others argue the most important goal is to strengthen social ties broadly—friendships, peer groups, and intergenerational support—so that a relationship does not become the only answer to loneliness.
RFSU’s messaging tries to bridge these perspectives by presenting dating as one part of a wider social life. The guide repeatedly stresses respect, boundaries, and the idea that there are many legitimate outcomes: not every date becomes a relationship, and that is normal.
How loneliness among young men looks across the Nordics and the EU
Sweden is not unique. Across the Nordics, public agencies and civil society organisations have been warning about loneliness—especially among younger age groups.
In Denmark, government-backed information on loneliness has pointed to an increase in “severe loneliness” over the past decade, with a particularly visible impact among younger people. Separate health research from Danish institutions has also reported that loneliness is widespread, with men and women reporting it at high rates.
In Finland, the Finnish Red Cross has reported a sharp rise in loneliness among teenagers and young adults, with a particularly steep jump among 16–24-year-olds in its annual barometer.
In Norway, the Norwegian Institute of Public Health (Folkehelseinstituttet) has described loneliness as a significant public health challenge, noting that a sizeable share of adult men report being strongly affected by loneliness.
At the EU level, the European Commission’s Joint Research Centre has published findings from an EU-wide survey showing loneliness is common across member states, particularly among younger people and those with lower income or education. Separate cross-European research has found that a majority of young adults in the EU report feeling moderately or strongly lonely, underlining that the issue is not confined to any one country.
What comes next
RFSU’s dating manual is unlikely to be a standalone solution, but it shows how Swedish civil society is experimenting with targeted, practical interventions to address loneliness. The broader test will be whether tools like this are paired with structural measures—youth mental health services, school-based social skills work, and community spaces that make it easier to meet people offline.
For Nordic governments and the EU, the challenge is similar: loneliness is now widely recognised, but turning that recognition into policies that improve everyday social life remains difficult. If the RFSU guide gains traction, it may offer a template for other organisations—one that treats loneliness not only as a health outcome, but also as a problem of skills, support, and social opportunity.
